Great Expectations

My whole life I have had great expectations of others and how I think things should go. You know “My Way!!” However, most of the time this is not the situation and it usually leads me into feelings of disappointment and frustration, sometimes anger and depression.

It doesn’t have to be anything in particular. Usually, I think a scenario will have a certain result, and “wham-o”…I was wrong. I thought marriage would be different. I thought my relationship with my mom would be different. I thought God would “train me up in the way I should go” differently, and trust me there have been and will probably be many more.

Whew…these expectations are a killer. They almost killed my marriage and my relationship with my mom. Not to mention, anything God does will not match our thoughts, because His ways are higher than ours and His thoughts (well, need a I say more). I have spent many a day crying over unmet expectations.

I know I am not the only one who has these feelings, because these days lots of people are bombarded with the disappointment of their expectations not being met. I am learning though. I am learning to take all my unpleasant complaints of distrust and “Why God?”, and “I just don’t understand” to Him. I don’t always trust Him, so sometimes it takes a minute (or days, or weeks, or more…) to bring it back to Him and cast all my cares on Him. I do know the longer I wait, the harder it is. By the way, waiting years…eeks! BIG MISTAKE!!! God did heal me though. Thank you, Lord.

(Doing this blog can make me sound super spiritual, but for the most part I am just working out my salvation.)

“Lord, you know what’s in my heart, and how crushed I feel. You know how difficult this is for me. Please help me to get through this. Help me to be the person you want me to be. I choose to forgive. Help me to forgive.”